Bill Murray

When I like a girl sleeping gets hard and waking gets easy. I have a little more bounce, a little more pounce, a little more flounce.  Every conversation is six degrees of separation from her. I dress like it’s a date when I’m going to the grocery store just in case. Landscaping, y’all. Combing through layers upon layers of Instagram (Careful not to click on anything!!!) Writing sonnets and planning perfect Sunday afternoons with sunshine and picnic baskets and joy.

Good God, don’t let me be What About Bob. Getting on a bus with Gill in a jar around my neck, heading to mountains to accidentally bump into Dr. Leo Marvin. Codependently working my way to and through and into a life that isn't mine but it could be.

Then there’s that perfect afternoon. I open my mouth and the words come out and they flow and the connection glows and grows and I know that maybe, just maybe, she likes me.

So how to protect that starter flame from the wind? Shield, protect, impact, attract, reenact. Groundhog Day. Line it up. Lay it out. Follow the plan, man. It worked. It can work. It works. Practicing a scripted speech of fake to try to bring back that flow.

The next thing I know the groundhog has turned into a gopher (or are they the same thing?) I want to be Ty Webb but there’s only one Chevy. Caddyshack it is and a license to kill all gophers. My hair, my clothes, and my sanity are all equally disheveled. The six degrees of separation has turned into One Direction and horrible pre-teen love songs begin to sound like a good idea.

Sleeping gets hard and waking gets easy.

I can almost see obsession in the periphery. But when I like a girl, I've got my eyes on the prize and there’s no reason to look to the sides. Look at the end game. Bob became a member of the family. Phil got Andie MacDowell. Carl Spackler lived happily ever after with or without the gopher (I can’t remember). And Peter Venkman got the Gatekeeper and it doesn't get much better than Sigourney Weaver, y’all.

Sigourney Weaver. She reminds me of this girl I like. Let me tell you about her.